Connect the Dots:

• Rick Hanson writes, in Buddha’s Brain, “…what flows through you mind sculpts your brain.”
• Robert Safian, “Generation Flux,“ Fast Company February 2012, writes “Members of Generation Flux can be any age and in any industry…what defines GenFlux is a mind-set that embraces instability, that tolerates – and even enjoys- recalibrating careers, business models and assumptions.”
• Mind-sets are malleable (Dr. Robert Brooks, Harvard Medical School)

As a coach (and a person who totally geeks out on the way people think) I find these three points to be fascinating and when linked together a doorway to the ability to flourish.

We can sculpt our brains by using our mind to control the flow of energy and information through our system.  This is certainly not easy to do, much easier by comparison to just let things run amuck up there and say “I yam what yam,” but at what opportunity cost?

Why not clean house?  Why not call forth every thought you routinely entertain (and there’s a bunch), fire it and ask it to re-interview for its position in the “new economy?”  How many would you re-hire?

It seems that this era of chaos, of ambiguity, of false starts and quick starts is here to stay for a while.  This means that we need to get familiar with, if not comfortable with, it as opposed to fearing its unfamiliarity.  And it isn’t just about trumping our beliefs about the external world, it is also (if not more so) about dissolving our internal platforms of constancy.  Guess what?  Just because you’ve always been a banker doesn’t mean you have to be a banker.  Just because you earned your chops in retail doesn’t mean you have stay in retail.  This is what GenFluxers do.  They pursue their interests, one foot in competence and one foot in Beginner’s Mind. They cross-lateral their skills from industry to industry adding breadth to their expertise while simultaneously adding enough depth to make their contributions useful.  Note the concept of “enough depth,” the 450 foot well of information in a single person is no longer necessary because we can go to the web for that information, and in fact we can cull wisdom for a global group of deep-water wells.  But flexibility, fluidity, vitality and genuine interest for learning and growing are captivating skills in a person and essential ones in a leader.

Call an “All Hands” meeting of the thoughts that hang out in your mind.  Do a total re-org.  Fire every one of them and then carefully re-interview for the ones you want to keep with a wave to the past, a wink to the present and an eye to the future.

One tiny four letter word that makes all the difference in the world – “know” rather than “find.”  It’s the difference between being and searching.

I’ve been thinking about this idea over the last week or so after reading Martha Beck’s column in O Magazine, “Now Don’t Get Excited…” (February 2012), that focuses on making the distinction between happiness and joy.  A topic near and dear to my heart as I spend a huge portion of my time coaching, teaching and training on the concept of well-being in work and life domains.

So this idea has been keeping me company for the last few days.  Hanging around on the fringes of my mind as I go about my normal days and I asked myself, “Do I really know my well-being?  Am I as familiar with that state-of-being as I might be with an old friend?  Could I pick her face out of crowd in an instant?”  Or is it more like a casual acquaintance?  Somebody I might pass on the street, glance at quickly, say a quick hello and then hurry onward with my day?

I decided to re-introduce myself.  I became my only little research project, asking myself “What does it mean to know my well-being?”  My project consisted of intentionally noticing over a period of several days what well-being feels like to me and how often in any given day I experienced it.  I surprised myself.

If I had asked myself, prior to my experiment, whether or not I have well-being I would have said yes, absolutely.  What I would have meant was that I had it on a conceptual level, i.e., more often than not and that it’s an adjective that I would use to describe my life.  What I didn’t realize was that if I tuned into it (“Is it here now?”), I could find it any given point in my day; like a quiet awesome hum in the background.   In fact, I found that it was available to me whenever I reached for it – whether that was during the more routine parts of my day (making Nutella^tm sandwiches in morning, changing laundry, driving) and the more noticeable parts of my day (designing a workshop, talking with a client, preparing a keynote speech).

Why is this important?  Because knowing your well-being makes it available to you.  Recognizing that it’s there, knowing what it feels like, savoring the experience of well-being in minutes scattered throughout your day is profoundly different than believing that you are searching for something that you do not have or that you have to do something to experience it other than turn your attention towards it.

This morning I thought to myself: “It’s a myth that “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and replaced it with “Presence makes the heart grow stronger;” doing yet another loop around the proverbial self-awareness corkscrew of life.

Recently, I was in a room where a senior leader’s voice rang out:  “…to motivate people to action you have to inspire FUD – fear, uncertainty and doubt.”  Guess what?   While old-school marketeers may have believed that (and still try it), that doesn’t work well for anyone, individually or organizationally, and definitely isn’t sustainable.

Case in point:  in the late 90s I was hired as part of a team to help a multi-national company define its “burning platform.”  The visioning process (if you could call it that) was this:  “as a group define everything you really don’t want to have happen to you and then decide what you want to do to be sure you don’t get clobbered with the reality you are trying to avoid.”  Less than a decade later, this company was obliterated from within; as a direct result of the actions of its people it ceased to exist.  The lizard brain creates exactly what it fears.

Less anecdotal, here is some geeked out science that explains what most of us already know but haven’t stopped to consider.  Fear, uncertainty and doubt are emotions that arouse the sympathetic nervous system (aka “negative neural attractor”), and according to Case Western University researcher, Richard Boyatzis, PhD., when the negative neural attractor is engaged the way in which we can think is fundamentally altered.  In short, when you dwell in negativity the way in which your body functions fundamentally changes so that your large muscle groups are optimized and all non-essential neural circuits are shut down.  This means you are less creative, less flexible, have a tendency toward feelings of nervousness, anxiety and depression.  How is that for a recipe for success?  And it only gets worse the longer you stay there.

When you dwell in positivity, that is, engage the parasympathetic nervous system by arousing positivity, you flood the brain with a different set of hormones.  These hormones serve to stimulate your pre-frontal cortex, lower your blood pressure, increase your immune system, and contribute to feelings of hopefulness, optimism, peacefulness and excitement about the future.  Even if I wasn’t a geek for neuro-science, or committed to thriving on a regular basis, the more desirable state to be in seems obvious.

So what are we suppose to do with that knowledge?

When we imagine the future, that is:

“go to the future, identify a possibility and bring it down to today and then maximize it’s potential impact,”

we get to choose whether we maximize the threat or the opportunity.  One of my teachers, Martin Seligman, Flourish (2011) once said, “people do not have to be taught how to catastrophize.”  I have found this to be so true it is staggering; as much with my corporate clients as with my private coaching clients.  However, when we realize that we can future prospect for the other end of the continuum a whole new world opens up to us.  As we traverse the continuum of possibility, from ideas motivated by fear, uncertainty and doubt, to the ideas motivated by courage, hope and confidence, our angst and anxiety are replaced by quiet confidence.

Fuel yourself (and your team) with FUD and you will find that you (and them) are motivated to meet expectations and then to take a nap (aka “check out”).  Fuel yourself (and them) with courage, hope and confidence and notice what happens to your/their ability to prospect for future possibility, imagine, collaborate, stretch and invest discretionary effort that none of you knew you had available.

And guess what?  The beauty of the whole system is that what you choose to believe about the future, which end of the spectrum you choose to dwell on (FUD or CH&C), doesn’t matter in terms of accuracy because neither of them has happened yet, they aren’t real.  Let me repeat, the possibilities you can imagine are not real.

That being said, knowing what you know now, from which end of the spectrum are you more likely to accomplish what you wish for?  

Ditch the FUD.  See what happens.

I often get teased by my friends for my “gretchenisms,” as they fondly call them; short phrases that capture what I’m thinking about in a way that I can share them with others. I thought it was fitting that I begin 2012, and my blog, with one of them that I use all of the time (plus my friend and awesome brand manager, Chelsea, turned it into an image that’s super fun to look at).

First introduced as a “ground rule” with some of my larger organizational groups, this phrase quickly became the only ground rule that I use in corporate settings because it’s all that really matters when it comes to adult learning (because we forgot it along the way). Then, it evolved into a life rule that I use for myself as well as with my private coaching clients.

This concept of being fully present, or being fully absent, has had the single greatest impact on individual and organizational well-being of any of the tools and techniques that I’ve got in my toolbox. Without it, we are listening to so many radio stations at the same time that all we hear is bits and pieces and a lot of static. Have you done a conference call lately where you’re listening, working on your laptop and texting all at the same time? How’s that working for you?

Imagine, if for 2012, you could make the promise to yourself that when you choose to show up you will do so and be fully present, and if you cannot commit to being fully present then you will choose to be fully absent? What might happen then? What might fall off your list altogether? What might benefit greatly from your full attention? Consider beginning now by making a list of things you are not going to do. Create the “Not Going to Do List,” and see what it feels like to free yourself up from the things that you were only going to pay partial attention to anyway.

As you practice being fully attuned to what you are doing you will experience an immediate boost. Practice a bit and notice what happens to how much of yourself you’ve got to invest – this is personal currency and we are going to be talking about it a lot. Why settle for a mediocre rate of return as it relates to your life?

New things are happening with SBI! We are excited for the new year and wanting to wish everyone a Happy 2012.

Proud to announce an all new Sounding Board Ink, LLC. We’ve been working on so many new projects and the biggest one is the new site launch this year, our SBI store, media room, and now my personal blog!

Cheers to a fantastic 2011 and the newness of what 2012 will bring.

SBI Ikea Tour from Gretchen Pisano on Vimeo.